I wrote a big long post about the photo in this post... & lost it.
So perhaps I need to get personal...
I have been with this man for 20 years, his name is Matthew.
Before this we were high school sweethearts for 2 years.
We broke up for 7 years - he likes to tell people I broke it off to go & "sow my royal oats"...
At 17.5 I needed to go.
To feel what the world was like beyond the confines of my school, home, city, country...
Between leaving and finding my way back to him I went through some of the darkest days of my life.
In those 7 years I experienced:
PTSD black outs
Risky choices. (death wish? - yes at a level)
Owning a business
Losing the business
Loss of friends
Disconnect from family
Multiple other sexual abuse situations - often with health practitioners
It was hard to stay alive during those years.
Our first year together was a blend of total deliciousness and ongoing intensity…
First pregnancy - a surprise we were NOT ready for (though super grateful now)
Potential jail time related to the bankruptcy
Other legal issues
We bought our first home.
Our early years were built on love, trauma & co-dependency.
This man has always seen me more deeply & more lovingly than I often saw myself.
He has been my biggest champion,
Incredible co-parent &
Our dynamic created the container for us to raise three incredible sons (Harper18, Asher 15,& Atticus 12)
(Re-shared from photographer Marina Meier - captured a few years ago)
Our dynamic allowed me to heal & Matthew to pursue a high level career.
Our dynamic provided love, security, stability and a whole lotta sweetness.
This year we realised that that dynamic no longer worked for who we are now...
it felt like death.
I grieved it like it was dead because what we had, had to die.
But there is no one out in the world showing us that the death of a dynamic does not have to be the death of a relationship altogether
Culture says we can choose 1 of 2 things:
Pretend like nothing is wrong & keep going as diminished versions of our true potential.
Break up... probably with bitterness & likely to repeat with future partners.
To be frank they are both shit options.
Where is the possibility for evolution?
Where are the role models showing us that perhaps rather than being a death, the completion of a relationship cycle can be more like the closing of act 1 (or in our case act 2) at the theatre.
A time to break, move, refresh, recalibrate & reimagine what exciting things might unfold in act 2 (or 3, or 4, or 5)?
So in lieu of role models,
we became them.
This is our life,
We get to decide who we are in it,
We get to decide what it looks like
In the "intermission" (which felt more like a funeral in hell TBH) & took us virtually to ground zero in every part of our life, we learnt some things...
About each other,
About our relationship.
About possibility, commitment and CHOICE.
In fact we've both learnt more in the last 12 months that we'd learnt in the whole 20 years prior of personal development & transformation work.
And you know what THE single most important tool was in evolving our relationship to what will be an epic love story for the ages? (Yes, I mean that - I'll write a book about this love! )
It's the epigenetic/hormonal profiling technology I work with.
I swear to you that having that in our toolkit was the difference between evolution & dissolution.
Because it allowed us to understand ourselves at a fundamental "wiring" level - which made all of our issues non-personal.
It gave us the space and the insight to step into curiosity & keep leaning into love.
Over & over & over again.
In the last year we have done some serious "open heart surgery"
while the new shoots of life are still small and tender
they are growing with determination.
This is where my offering of “Relationship Translation” is springing from.
Straight from my courageous heart,
because it's needed.
Because, relationships can be a work of art,
even the intermissions,
if we just know a few simple things about:
Who we are
How we are wired
What our core needs are
What our core wounds are
How all of this plays out for our partners too.
I'm not a counsellor or relationship therapist, though I have been in transformational spaces for 20 years,
this is not therapy.
This is quite literally Relationship Translation, so you have the knowledge and tools to "love yourself and each other Free".
That is my commitment to myself & to my lover of 20+ years...
To love myself & him free.
To be whole in myself,
Meet my own needs,
Live my own life
Come to him as a fully sovereign woman because
I. Choose. To.
Because he is choosing to meet me from that place too,
& it's fucking exciting.
Here's to Love Reimagined .
A webpage is coming but for now…
Relationship Translation is a package for couples including
2 x ph360 epigenetic profiles incl the Shae app for 12 months
2 x individual sessions
1 x joint session
This week I am offering it at
If this is for you reach out for a Connection Call
Apply To Work With Me
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